We’re already cheating. I originally planned for this book club to read books written by authors from a different culture, race, or ethnicity but, we chose a book written by a white woman. Which is different from me, but maybe not so different from many of you? However…I take solace in the fact that, the very first time I read this book, I thought for sure the author was black. Surely that counts for something, right?
To be honest, the author’s culture probably is different from a lot of ours. In fact, I’ll bet we’re all more different than we know at first sight. And, more the same, too.
We’re each so very complex.
I think this complexity is behind a lot of the division we see out there, lately. Especially in social media, where we only really get a glimpse into most people’s lives. We think we know who people are, and maybe we impose a certain something on them—a political viewpoint, a doctrinal position, a favorite NFL team—which leads us to believe they are…well…like us. But then, one day on Facebook, they let some small detail slip about themselves and we suddenly find ourselves navigating a flood of negative emotions; everything from smugness to disappointment to fear to irritation.
That moment right there? The moment we realize someone we “like” or even admire holds a viewpoint different from ours? Our response to that moment can make or break us. Okay, that may be hyperbolic, but I do think our response in that moment is critical. Our response can change the trajectory of our relationship with that person, and it can impact our witness in the world. That right there? Not hyperbolic.
In her book, Roadmap to Reconciliation, Dr. Brenda Salter McNeil talks about the difference between preservation and transformation. What we’re working toward as we gather here over the next few weeks, is transformation; the same kind of transformation Jodi Baxter and the women in her prayer group experience in The Yada Yada Prayer Group. Some of us may experience a profound change in our perception of the world and the people in it as we spend time together in the pages of this book. Others may experience a nearly imperceptible shift. Our goal is not to quantify or compare the extent of transformation, because all transformation is good. We aren’t even here to make sure everyone experiences some sort of transformation.
What we’re doing here is learning to navigate our complexities, and give each other grace for the journey. I pray that makes sense, or, that it comes to make sense as we make our way through this book.
So, here we are. Week One of Forward. Some of you have asked me for a reading plan and some of you have told me you’ve already read the entire book! See? Complexity. {Smile} There is room for both, and everyone in between.
Here’s the simple reading plan: Read ten chapters each week. The chapters are short and the book is an easy read. At this pace, we will be through it in four to five weeks. In my weekly posts, I’ll focus on the ten chapters assigned to that particular week. But, if you read ahead, or want to take the book at a slower pace, that’s completely fine, too. Just know the weekly posts, which you’ll find here each Friday, will focus on the ten chapters for that particular week.
We begin today. Take the week to read (or remember) the prologue, and chapters one through ten. Then, sometime before next Friday, January 22, chime in with your thoughts in the comment section. I’ll provide some questions each week to get us started (I’ll try not to give too much away), but you can ignore them if they don’t work for you, and feel free to raise your own questions or share your personal insights as you feel led. Then, if you’re up for it, write a blog post at your place and link it up in the space below. I’ll be sure to visit and share on social media each post you submit. And, I’ll feature at least one blog post (with the writer’s permission) here on my blog each Thursday, beginning January 21st. If you share thoughts or posts related to the book club on social media, please tag with #Forward, and feel free to use any of the book club graphics included in these posts.
Here are the questions for the prologue, and chapters one through ten:
- With which character do you identify the most, so far? Why?
- Which character/s rub/s you the wrong way? Why?
- What questions did you want to ask the author as you read this part of the book?
Hey, Deidra. I didn’t even know you were doing this group–just saw the link on FB.
One thing I struggle with is people I know in real life, and then I happen to see a FB comment that tells me more than I wanted to know, often something about their politics. I usually try to forget it because obviously there’s a relationship there that’s already established.
FYI, I never post or like anything in that realm of social media. My husband has to raise money in our small town–politics needs to be set aside for the good of those whom the clinic serves.
Yes. I’ve had some of those same experiences with people I know, here in my town and even in my church. One thing I like about that is the fact we can actually get together and talk about some of our differences. It has really helped to strengthen my relationships with those people. Even though we will probably never agree on some key issues.
Hi Deidra … while not officially joining the group, I am sitting quietly in the back corner. I hope it’s ok …
Hi, Linda! More than okay! Just be sure to wave from time to time. 😉
Linda,
I’m joining you, too…and thanks, Deidra, for always being gracious 🙂
Deidra – Sorry I can’t join in on this book. Life has had some unexpected bumps, lately. But I hope to be able to catch up to you on the next go-round.
No worries, Charity. I completely understand. We will miss you, sister. xoxo
I have finished the book and SO wish we could talk in person! It is late, tonight, but I plan on commenting during the week….though honestly, I am a bit embarrassed about how closely I identified with one of the characters! 🙂
Can’t wait to hear more, Karen! Looking forward to it!
I love how you have put words to describe our experiences of watching/assuming/being disappointed with people on Facebook (or any social media platform). I have a friend who is counter-cultural and chooses not to engage in social media because she “loves people better that way”. There’s truth to that statement, yes? 😉 I am eager to dive into Forward. Thanks for hosting this for us all. My copy of the book is on reserve at my local library, and I’m planning to pick it up today. Can’t wait!
I’m slowly thinking through (and praying about) my stewardship of my online presence. There is truth to your friend’s statement. Whatever facilities our love for others best—that is the high road. Always.
I’ll jump in with my two cents and go with the questions:
1. With which character do you identify the most, so far? Why?
So far, with the rather limited exposure we’ve had to most of the characters, I identify most with Avis, primarily because, at this point at least, she appears to be a rather steady person.
2. Which character rubs you the wrong way? Why?
Honestly (and if I’m not being honest, no point in commenting, eh?), Jodi rubs me the wrong way because she seems immature for her age on so many levels.
3. What questions did you want to ask the author as you read this part of the book?
More honesty…WHY do you feel compelled to describe what characters are wearing??!! Seriously, this style of writing is not my cup of tea, yet I am hoping to press on and benefit from the message of the book! Forward!
Yay for honesty!
Thanks so much for sticking with it, Lisa. I know this kind of book doesn’t work for everyone. It’s a quick read, though, and the conversation with this group has been fun.
It’s funny you should mention the author being white, Deidra. I looked her up before starting the book and was surprised. I find it interesting that you read the book first and thought the author was black. I’d love to dissect that assumption a little bit more, lol. Anyway, so far I’m enjoying the book. On to the questions:
1. I don’t really identify with anyone so far. All of their lives, including Jodi’s, are so different from mine. But one thing I DO identify with is Jodi’s fascination and interest with our differences. Like how people of different color/culture dress or fix their hair, or even just how different their hair is, etc. I find these things fascinating as well. 2. Adele rubs me the wrong way. People with her blunt personality are always a challenge for me. Yet God seems to keep putting them in my life, lol. I learned a long time ago not to judge, but even so, people like Adele are difficult to deal with. 3. No questions, yet!
I’m so glad you called me on that, June! My assumptions that the author was black revealed a few my own biases. It didn’t even cross my mind that a white author would have so much insight into black culture. I’m not proud of that fact, but it is what it is. Thank God he keeps giving me opportunities to grow. Whew!
Hello, book club sistahs!
This book is easy reading so far. I’m not sure if there’s really a character I identify with yet. So far they seem a little stereotypical, and I’m hoping for some more depth and complexity. I think at heart, we are all very complex, and it’s only with time and getting to know each other that we really see the image of God in each other. When we are satisfied with that first impression, it’s almost more like we are using others as a mirror…kind of looking for a good reflection of ourselves rather than looking deep and true. I’m trying to be intentional about looking deeper. Not easy to do in our fast paced world,
Lisa, I’m with you in having Jodi rub me the wrong way. I wish there were more first-person characters in the book. I’d like to know how the other women are seeing Jodi and one another.
So maybe that’s what I would ask Neta Jackson: who are the other women? We are only getting the Jodi-eyed-version of Avis and Flo and Adele and all the others.
Hmmm…reflecting these chapters and these questions is making me realize that knowing people is more a need in me than just a curiosity. That’s a good thing.
Now to have that transfer more into everyday relationships…
Great point, Tara. It would be great to have more first-person characters in this book. I love your thoughts.
You sound like me! Whenever I’m out, in crowd, I want to know the stories of every person I see. Since that’s an unachievable goal, I make stories up for them. In my head, of course. I know it’s a stretch, but it speaks to that desire to know others and their stories.
Hello, friends! Am enjoying this book!
Character I identify most with:
I tend to step into a leadership vacuum, so when the narrator asked everyone in Prayer Group 26 to introduce themselves, just to get things going, I said, “Sounds like me.” But when Avis turned everyone to the specific business for which they were brought together – prayer – that sounded even closer to me. Knowing that getting down to prayer might be the most awkward thing, I would probably take that on just to lessen anxieties. So AVIS.
ADELE rubs me the wrong way because of the way she seems to poo-poo anything that suggests leadership. However, I know that the person who rubs me the wrong way is usually a diamond in the rough, and one I will come to love. I have not read beyond chapter 10, so don’t spoil it for me, if you know whether that happens.
Questions for the author: What’s up with Jodi saying about Nony, “When she spoke, her voice was soft, cultured, almost European —which startled me because she was black.” (pg 21 in my copy) That sentence jumped off the page at me. She did not expect a soft, cultured voice from a woman because she was black?
Hello everyone! I am enjoying this book so far. I must say that I probably would have never read it if it had not been picked as the book to read for this club. Honestly, I almost decided not to read it solely based on its title. (It just didn’t sound exciting/appealing).
Deidra stated that she thought the author was black after having read this book. If I wasn’t told beforehand that the author was not black, I think I probably would have come to the same conclusion initially.
Here are just a few of my reasons:
1. The author’s name is Neta Jackson. To me, it sounds like a black name. (I know it’s stereotypical, but I have to be real). By, the way, I am black.
I’ve never heard of anyone named “Neta,” so to me it sounds like it could be a short version and/or variation of names such as Anita, Benita, Shaneta, etc. Also, everyone I know personally who has the last name “Jackson” is black. However, that may very well be my small town environment.
2. Most importantly, she describes the panhandler/drug addict on page 7 (my copy) as having “NAPPY” hair.
This is a term used almost exclusively in the black community, and people who are not black usually don’t get the meaning of the word. So, for the author to use it & in context would have made me think she was black.
Now, on to the questions.
1. I identify with Florida, Jodi & Avis on different levels and to varying degrees.
2. The character who rubs me the wrong way right now is Adele.
3. The questions I have for the author is:
How does she know so much about & be able to describe so vividly black culture?
Since I’ve not read past chapter 10, I don’t know yet if we will hear from some of the othe members of the group. It would be good to hear their point of view.
“I know that the person who rubs me the wrong way is usually a diamond in the rough.” Yes yes yes!
Great question! I love the way the author reveals Jodi’s inner life through comments like these.
Okay – I’ve read through Chapter 10. I think I identify most with Avis. She seems focused and task-oriented. And while she spent a whole weekend with the ladies, no one know in Group Twenty-Six knew anymore about her than when they came to the conference. I find myself always asking the questions in a conversation. (I guess I need to explore that…) And while she is put-together, Avis gets lost in worship. I am like that, too. Adele rubs me the wrong way. She is intimidating in these first ten chapters, and yet I’m sure there’s a reason she is the way she is. I hope this gets revealed in the coming chapters. My questions for the author would be… 1) If she’s Caucasian, how does she know so much about African American church/women’s conference culture? (I spoke at a women’s conference at a black church this past year) and 2) Her description of coming home to a disappointing reality after a Christian retreat… was that a real-life experience of hers? I SO appreciated she included this chapter in her book. I resonate with this on so many levels. My expectations of a homecoming… the spiritual “high” of a conference… the messy house… the children whose life went on without mom… it all clashes and I believe so many of us can relate.
Oh, I MUST respond to what Christan has said. Yes, transitioning back after a conference/retreat can be really challenging. I, too, was happy to see the author include that daily. It’s almost always true for me as well.
So true! Returning home after a conference is a challenge. I wonder if my husband experiences his own challenges and braces for my return from those events? I’ll have to ask him.
A friend of mine once said a conference is at least one day longer than is indicated on the schedule. He told me to factor in the let down day, upon my return. It was wise advice.
Avis is SO mysterious, isn’t she? Honestly? My patience wears thin with her sometimes. 😉
Greetings Forward book club!!!! I already love the dialogue we have started with Week One. As with any book I read, I always have a mental picture in my head of the events as they unfold and the story takes shape. Deidra…… I also find it interesting that you thought the author was black; I never looked her up to discover who she is or what she looks like…. just from the first few pages, I could not imagine the writer to be a sister of color based on some of the reactions and interactions described (please do not take offense ANYONE!). I just automatically conjured her to be a white sister, due to Jodi’s descriptions of her initial encounters with entering the registration process and the first session, especially the music!
I have found myself laughing out loud as I read (then looking up tentatively to see if anybody is paying attention to me!) because I think Jodi is coming from a place of hesitancy in her own abilities to open herself up to let the Lord transform her out of her comfort zone. At this point in the story, I identify with various aspects of many of the characters as described through Jodi’s eyes. I agree with others who have stated it would be nice to get the other characters’ points of view and Marilyn, I concur with you regarding Adele…. I hope we are going to see her come around and prove to be a pivotal and positive voice in this story. If not, I will try not to be too disappointed. I do find myself being perturbed with Jodi’s preoccupation of herself. While I am neither condoning nor damning the whole wine vs. beer discussion, I did think that Jodi turned it into a much larger uproar because she already had preconceived expectations for her return home from the conference.
I really thought it was a great gesture for Denny to give her his undivided attention after the guys left and the fact that he was immediately cleaning up should have taken precedence over the fact that the ‘homecoming’ wasn’t what she thought it would be.
At this point, I don’t really have any questions to ask the author. I suspect she has written this story from her own point of view and experiences, so I’ll read the next ten chapters and see if I have any questions that develop then.
Happy reading!!
“I could not imagine the writer to be a sister of color based on some of the reactions and interactions described….”
I agree with what you’ve written, Lisa. Jodi’s observations tell us a lot about her. Why does she find this or that curious? A woman wrapping her hair at night or a certain manner of praying. Clearly, these are things she doesn’t run into a lot.
So glad you shared your perspective, Lisa!
That beer/wine conversation always rubs me the wrong way. But, then I keep reading. 😉 Denny is a great character in this book. I do love the way he balances Jodi (and, by extension, the reader, aka, me).
Hello everyone! I am enjoying this book so far. I must say that I probably would have never read it if it had not been picked as the book to read for this club. Honestly, I almost decided not to read it solely based on its title. (It just didn’t sound exciting/appealing).
Deidra stated that she thought the author was black after having read this book. If I wasn’t told beforehand that the author was not black, I think I probably would have come to the same conclusion initially.
Here are just a few of my reasons:
1. The author’s name is Neta Jackson. To me, it sounds like a black name. (I know it’s stereotypical, but I have to be real). By, the way, I am black.
I’ve never heard of anyone named “Neta,” so to me it sounds like it could be a short version and/or variation of names such as Anita, Benita, Shaneta, etc. Also, everyone I know personally who has the last name “Jackson” is black. However, that may very well be my small town environment.
2. Most importantly, she describes the panhandler/drug addict on page 7 (my copy) as having “NAPPY” hair.
This is a term used almost exclusively in the black community, and people who are not black usually don’t get the meaning of the word. So, for the author to use it & in context would have made me think she was black.
Now, on to the questions.
1. I identify with Florida, Jodi & Avis on different levels and to varying degrees.
2. The character who rubs me the wrong way right now is Adele.
3. The questions I have for the author is:
How does she know so much about & be able to describe so vividly black culture?
Since I’ve not read past chapter 10, I don’t know yet if we will hear from some of the other members of the group. It would be good to hear their point of view.
Same. I was thrown by her name, and by her descriptions of black culture. Funny, for all the times I’ve read this book, this is the first time I’ve noticed that she used the word, “nappy.”
I’m really enjoying this book. I kind of like Adele because of how blunt she is. I have always admired blunt people because they aren’t afraid to say what they think and you pretty much know where you stand with them.
Also the way these women prayed intrigued me. Praying the Psalms sounds like good practice.
I would like to ask the author if she lived through this personally or is this entirely made up? If she did live through this, I wonder why she chose to fictionalize this. The story behind the story would be interesting to me.
This book did evolve out of Neta’s real-life experiences. She was in a prayer group, much like the one we’re reading about, and her husband encouraged to write a book about it!
I love this conversation! I’ll be back soon to weigh in, too!