You called me “Brave” and you typed those words that make me squirm: “…for such a time as this…” and I am grateful for your cheers and for your encouragement and I am overwhelmed because you sat at this table for 31 Days and you didn’t flinch. Not once.
You asked your tough questions. You answered with grace. And truth. You took your heart off your sleeve and laid it right there in the middle of the dining room table for everyone to see. And when you realized there were hearts on the table, you held them gently and wrapped them warmly and lifted them up to the Light and we all cried together. And we pressed on. And through.
But there was so much I didn’t say.
I didn’t talk about American politics. I tried. I talked it over with H and we tried to see if there was a way to talk about it when the season is so heavy now and how to talk without making it sound as if I think you should vote for a certain person. I voted days ago, and I have turned off the television and I’ve hidden the FB status updates, and the story of these past four years (and this particular campaign season) has bent my spirit a bit because no one wants to mention all the things that seem so clear from where I sit in this brown skin of mine. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do — remaining silent, with so many others. Only time will tell, and maybe I’ll talk about it later; after the deed is done.
I didn’t talk about the way my children have a different viewpoint and they think I make too big a deal of race and church and culture and all of that and how sometimes I wonder if they’re right and maybe it would help if we’d all stop asking these questions and just live as if we’ve already figured out all of that stuff.
I didn’t talk about how I sometimes wonder if some of the wonderful opportunities I’ve been experiencing (and here, I don’t want to take anything away from God, but I have to admit, I wonder) are the result of what some people call “tokenism” and, even though my writing would have to be halfway decent to even get a hearing, what if I was invited because I can write and because they realized they needed to have at least one person of color on the roster and without my brown skin, I may never have made it on their radar.
There’s a chance this conversation will continue beyond these 31 Days. The door has been opened, the table is set, and a place has been reserved just for you. I think we’ve done well, here. I’ve been so proud to point people to the comments you’ve left and the many ways you’ve embodied grace. I’m indebted to Rachel, Jennifer, Kendra, Michelle, and Grace for adding their words and their hearts to the conversation. I’m humbled by those of you who told me you’ve wrestled with these words at your own dining room tables with people you love and who love you back.
I’m convinced God is up to something. Let’s keep talking, okay?
Inspired? Questions? Hopes and dreams? If you’ve written a post in response to these 31 days, please feel free to link it up here. Yes, let’s keep talking…